The cows were absent for the longest time from our neighboring field but now they are back. Kevin and I are also back—from ten days doing our “Samuel Ryder Tour to England.”
“Hey look,” Lucy mooed to Elsie, “they’re here again, but it looks like they got a new car.”
“It’s about time they got rid of that rickety old burgundy BMW,” mooed Elsie. “But they just got themselves another BMW. Well, at least this one is blue and looks a lot nicer.”
“I wonder where they’ve been all this time…they missed some really nice weather,” Lucy mooed.
“Maybe they just went up to the North…or maybe they took a ferry to England or the Continent again, like they have done pretty much every summer since his American girlfriend showed up.”
“I like her,” mooed Batty, who got her name because she is grey and big as a battleship. “She always comes to the stone wall to say hello—and she has brown eyes just like us.”
“Yeah, but she never brings us any treats.” Lucy slowly moved her head back and forth in disappointment.
“What do you expect?” mooed Elsie, “besides Tommy throwing us some grass cuttings when he mows the lawn. What could she possibly give us that we would even want to eat?”
“Well, for one thing,” Lucy mooed, “she could at least try feeding us some chocolate. I know they always have chocolate after dinner, sitting there in the candlelight laughing and drinking wine.”
“You’re right, Lucy. Maybe she could at least try offering us some little cookies or crackers, which they probably need to get rid of since they’re going to take off again, pretty soon.”
“Where do you think they go when they lock up the house and leave?” Lucy flicked her tail for emphasis.
“Oh, I bet they go to Scottsdale, Arizona.” Elsie mooed confidently.
“What makes you think that?”
“She just has that look about her. She’s always bundled up like an Eskimo. Must have very thin blood.” Elsie mooed, proud of her Sherlock Holmes-type observation.
“Well, let them go then. I heard it is bloody hot there. And on top of that, they have very little good juicy grass, and they’re running out of water. We’ll certainly never run out of water here, that’s for sure. C’mon girls, let’s load up on this Liscannor grass and have a good long chewing session!” Lucy mooed loudly and lowered her head to wrap her long, dexterous tongue around a big clump of delicious yellow dandelions.